However, if I included un-cards in this list, Spike, Tournament Grinder would probably make it
If they didnt, the Vaults computer would kill everyone
Alpha Guard Captain Rex Nebula Carnival Barker Complaints Clerk Deadbeat Attendant Dee Kay, Finder of the Lost Discourtesy Clerk Goblin Airbrusher Goblin Blastronauts Goblin Girder Gang Icing Manipulator Jetpack Janitor Monitor Monitor Monoxa, Midway Manager Park Bleater Petting Zookeeper Quick Fixer Rad Rascal Resolute Veggiesaur Ride Guide Roxi, Publicist to the Stars Scampire Seasoned Buttoneer Soul Swindler
You read that right
This weird little artifact has you hold it above the board by at least a foot and letting it drop onto the battlefield, spinning completely over at least once
Unless your opponents have removal, you can practically soft-lock their combat strategies out of the game and teach them to respect the power of mono-white