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Chaos Emperor, the Dragon of Armageddon gives you another valid DARK target off Chaos Space and has a handy array of effects

Although it only targets creatures, the cost of just makes it a whole lot better than any 2-mana option even when it gifts your foe a basic land

Incapsula incident ID: 562000120613818497-1636364861727441718

I'm gonna rule this middle one out immediately, just because I'm seeing the text is kinda, like, blurry

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He says to think of it more like gambling than investing: Seeing someone put $4 in a Vegas machine and win $500,000 doesnt mean you should move your 401(k) to the casino